Like this:

Something’s very wrong I tell you!  Something’s very wrong!  Maybe I just don’t get it.  Or maybe I’m just too practical.  Or maybe I’m just too boring.  I cannot understand why some people are so gosh darn attracted to designer labels.  They yearn for the day to drive to the super market in their fancy new car with the “ewwh-ahh” hood ornament.    They insist on only wearing the grossly expensive sunglasses – even on cloudy days – for all their friends and neighbors to see.  Their handbag or wallet must be purchased exclusively from that snobby, snooty upscale boutique in the city.  Even when you join them for a drink at the bar,  they have to order the top shelf, over priced alcohol; or some exotic glass of wine that is usually accompanied by their long, boring story of the vineyard,  the grapes, and the color of the bottle.  GIMME A BREAK!!!!!!!! 

Well, that earth killing, super expensive, luxury vehicle still gets flat tires, right?  And after you’re done changing that flat tire,  those super expensive, glitzy sunglasses still break in half when you sit your fat butt on them, right?.  And that super expensive, Peruvian Leather wallet that cost you one weeks salary still gets lost like any other wallet;  laying on the side of the rain soaked, country road where you changed your super expensive flat tire, right?.  And that super expensive cocktail that you justly deserved at the end of this miserable day, didn’t taste the least bit different to you, did it? (Even though the bartender slipped the cheap stuff into it.) 

Label Lovers have always cracked me up.  Some Label Lovers genuinely believe that if they pay more, they get more.  Huh??  Whether you wear a two thousand dollar watch on your wrist or a two hundred dollar watch, they are both going to instill the exact same amount of fear into you when you glance down at them and realize that you are now one hour late for your appointment with the Internal Revenue Service auditor.   Some other Label Lovers genuinely believe that buying a designer label is a good investment.  That the product will retain it’s value longer than generic labels.  Hello??  You can go to any flea market in the country or street vendor in the city and get look-alike, knock off watches,  purses,  sunglasses, pocketbooks,  jewelry, clothing and just about anything else for a mere fraction of the original cost.  If you don’t own at least one knockoff product,  then I guarantee you that you know someone else who does.  Good investment??  Gimme a break!

Well,  I’ve got to cut this blog short.  My son reminded me that I need to take him to the shoe store to buy him a new pair of sneakers that will make him run faster and jump higher then any other sneaker on the shelf.  I can’t wait to see what these are going to cost me!  Something’s very wrong I tell you!  Something’s very wrong!

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